Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
