don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
