Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
