I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
