So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize