so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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