508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
