Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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