I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize