Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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