i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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