And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
