I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm drive I can fine osifer
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
