The maid of honor just puked.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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