ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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