If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just want nice things and good sex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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