Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
