look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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