Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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