So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
