Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you would pick up someone in the library
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize