I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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