I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
