I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We're too hungover to prance.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
