Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
