yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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