oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
