She's JV to your varsity
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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