Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
