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• (914): View more from New York

  Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  So the keyword here is "hammered"?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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• (530): View more from California

  Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia

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• (626): View more from California

  I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?

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