Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My ass is underappreciated
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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