i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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