no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
