Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
