Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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