what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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