She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
