You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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