I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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