Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO