I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend