when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.