He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
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My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed