Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
