how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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