if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize