is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
