Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
