Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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