in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
