Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
