thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
