Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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