she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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