Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
