forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
