somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
