hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
