I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
