so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
