he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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