We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
