i think i have two assholes
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
