i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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