Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize