We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize