Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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