never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
